It's been too long since I posted:

Well yesterday was my baptism, confirmation and first communion. I know, that's a loaded statement, and I will elaborate. First some rather disturbing news came my way this morning. My dad called and told me, this guy I used to date, named Brad, has brian cancer. It was most disturbing but brought me to the realization that yesterday was even more beautiful and precious now, realizing again how short life really is. So please put him in your prayers.


Okay elaboration of the most beautiful and powerful thing that has ever happened to me. I was very nervous, so nervous I was shaking, and everyone was really reassured me, but it was still nerve racking for me. Before the ceremony, at home, I began to pray at our alter, and I asked for a blessing on this day and for strength and all the graces and beauty associated with these sacraments.

At the church, Father began the ceremony, and I nervously stumbled over the simple, Our Fathers I had to say, including Father having to prompt me. As it continued, I began to have trouble not crying. As I said the words, I do renounce him, I began t o realize that this was all very real, and that I in my heart could not have imagined such an overwhelming presence. I was being watched, not just by the people but by Christ himself, it seemed. As we continued on, and I was prostrating, I felt compelled to ask for forgiveness, and to thank Christ for what he has done. It was most humbling to be laying on the ground and to look up and see the crucifix above you, looking at you so powerfully.

As we continued and I was anointed with water, and oils and thumbs, it was overwhelming the presence that I felt. As the water was poured over my head, I felt as if my entire body had water poured down it cascading over me, and washing me. I felt and inner peace that is still in me at the moment. As we finished the baptism, I realized with the hands of my two God Parents-Linda and Brian M. that I am loved, and that God loves me.

At the confirmation, I was still nervous, I wanted to be perfect in the eyes of the Lord, I wanted to be nothing less than what he needs me to be. At confirmation I felt affirmed that I am a solider of Christ, and that I will have a new bigger destiny ahead of me. As Linda's hand was on my shoulder, *smiles*, I felt another invisible hand on my other. Unexplainable perfection.

As we did a "mini" mass, I guess you can call it that, Father Fryar showed us in the missial, and it was the Feast day of St. Peter and St. Paul. As Brian showed me the words from the Gospel, I realized that this day was perfect, that this day honoring the beginning of Catholicism, is my day to be honored in the beginning of my journey with Catholicism.

I told Brian this later, but at my first communion, I tasted flesh. I did not taste a "cracker." I'll tell you the same thing I told him, perhaps it was merely because I wanted it to, but I felt the presence, and I felt the graces showering on me. Perhaps, like I said, it's because I wanted it, I needed to feel it, but for me tasting of communion was a most sacred and beautiful thing.


Anyway, if you have questions or want more details let me know...this was truly an amazing blessing from God.

Pax,

Aprill Anne